Today, I feel like telling a story. It is MY story, but I also recognize, I am not this story. I could be watching a movie, and yet some part of me wants to get some stories out on paper/screen to let them go on down the stream.
Obligation: The act of binding oneself by a social, legal, or moral tie.
I was happy in the obligation of my marriage, I thought. The deeper, higher pull of my true self knew that I could never wake up under the obligations I had tied myself too. This higher plan knew also that I would never walk away in good conscience, so when the heat of unreason, discomfort, bi-polar episodes, insane financial risks, absenteeism, and other deal breakers I fail to remember, grew into a raging fire of destruction, I had to go. I went along making everything normal until I couldn’t pretend anymore. Divorce seems unfortunate through many current lenses, but through my lens, I’ve come to see the separation as beautiful and freeing through the space of time, detachment from story, and clear air of my Sovereignty – which I had forgotten. That was just one stripping in my path – many more masks came off after the first.
What strikes me today is that my Freedom is from Obligations…not all, but many I lived under for most of my life: There has been a stripping of the obligations of my childhood religion, the obligations of the religion of my marriage, the social obligations of being part of a couple, the obligations of being part of social groups, the obligations of being part of a social class, the obligations of memberships, the obligations of home ownership, the obligations of a “belief” system, the obligations of buying into the mythology of my country, the obligations of consuming news media, the obligations of caring about pop culture, the obligations of empty interactions…you get the idea.
Community is lovely and something different entirely. Real community is about love, choice, and resonance. The choice to help, to accompany, to attend to, to facilitate with others from the heart is not about obligation at all. This interaction organically arises and expresses our truth, even when we are doing hard work!
What is left? Emptiness, stillness, undefined moment after moment in the space that smells like vanilla and cream. Joy!
I just dropped off my daughter at her friend’s house for a New Year’s Eve Party. This family is Greek Orthodox and they derive much joy from a grand, interactive culture. There was dancing on the beach this morning, guests in from out of town, music, food, family, friends. 🙂 But leaving their house was a relief to me. Why? I realized on my drive back home how wonderful it feels for me that through these years of tearing away of identity that I am not obligated…I do what I chose to do, for the most part.
Life is a ride, and we get to choose, and sometimes getting to that freedom comes through the recognition of our freedom from Obligations: I am just a baby of this understanding. Recognizing that this marga journey is just a ride is just the beginning!
Also I bow to the higher purpose of HM, my ex, for playing just the role needed at the intensity required to help me shake my sleeping self awake enough to step up to what was required of me. From a long, zoomed out view, his role was one of love and of the higher purpose, I have no doubt of that! Here is a bow to him in the higher fields!
Life as Improv 
Its Great when you can no longer make the normal real, it turns upside down because it is dead like a beetle on its back. realising oneself to be a complete fabrication begins a period of stability not from the day to day tranquillisers of society but from the land slide of belief which gives one complete faith in the understanding that this is illusion. beyond it there is stillness so full of Nothing its vibration washes away time and space.
There is nothing to do nothing ,the adjustment takes place on its own at its own speed, just so long as one keeps the company of the wise as a pillow.
Journey Well.
Russell
Beautiful, thank you. I found in my purse, scribbled on a notepad, the day I realized I had to leave, a quote from Mooji. I had written down, “There is no thing to do. Push everything aside and realize who you are, and the rest will sort itself out.” I don’t know if those are the words exactly, but the general idea. Nothing to do is good medicine. Thank you so very much for sharing your insight!! company of the wise 🙂
Wow – so beautiful and beautifully expressed. What you said about letting go of obligations reminded me of something GD said to me last week about “ownership”… It’s not the same but in the same compass direction: “It’s interesting how the ‘I’ takes ownership of every sensation, thought and emotion. It takes ownership of the body which appears. And it also takes ownership of the story of this body, which I call ‘me’. If a crow makes a sound nearby there is no ownership, if the mind makes a sound, it becomes mine.”
Caw, Caw 🙂 Not my story – and now further down the stream than ever. Thank you for seeing connections beyond mine…truth! I read somewhere recently that the experiences of the mind are like another sense, like seeing or hearing. When we hear a sound, we don’t take “ownership.” Through this view, thoughts are just another sensation occurring.
Sounds like you get lots of first hand wisdom from GD!
Blessings, Aalif!
marga
So loving getting a peek at the view from your car. SOOOOOOO glad you too, have chosen to respectfully ignore the admonition to keep hands, elbows and arms inside the ride at all times. It is so much more fun flying and flailing in joy don’t you think?!
Sending you corn dog, caramel popcorn and massive amounts of fluffy pink cotton candy love this first morn of 2013. x.M
Sometimes “WHEEEEE!” and sometimes, “Let me off, I’m dizzy and sick!” Your illustrations – always so perfect! I’ll meet you by the snow cone stand in my saffron robe 😉
Gooey deep fried snickers or some other southern food craziness LOVE to you!! m
Thank you for this post, made me reflect at my own life a little and think of the freedom and obligations i have/had..
Happy again that I discovered your blog!
Hi Sofia,
Thanks for sharing your reflections. I am working on my syllabus, but happy to see new faces coming over from Maddie’s recommendation. As soon as I have my work in, I can’t wait to explore your blog. I’m curious about the Siberia, but i’m sure i’ll learn soon enough!
Peace to you tonight!
marga
Will be happy to connect! And i’ll be visiting often! Good luck with everything! 🙂
Yeah life is quite a ride… sometimes we have to feel each emotion so deeply, completely – there’s no room left for regrets. Just watching and riding out our personal storm is so cathartic because then we know the real, that life goes on and we can choose to participate with full awareness, totality. So in a way life gets easier, although there’s no such thing as a pain-free existence, we can choose not to suffer existential angst. Or use the experience to make millions singing about it… here’s Pearl Jam with Black.
OH yes mam…that is a great way to start my work day 🙂 I hadn’t read those lyrics before. I get an electric feeling surge when I hear the truth from others…and this had me glowing like a lightbulb. thanks so much!
X!
Hi there! It is so interesting to me how the Universe brings me exactly what I need, and today I needed this article I can’t even really express to you how long I have been waiting to hear this message in these exact words, this inspiration, this reminder that its okay to want a life free from obligations, a life lived from my inner truth, not just from outer expectations, that I have the right to this, that I have an obligation to myself to live my truth, not to just be living out the obligations of others. Thank you. Namaste 🙂
Hi back!
Yes! I am honored that you and I share this same experience of the exact words appearing at the right time. For a while, on the path, it felt like just the book with the next piece of information just for me would fall off the shelf and hit me on the foot. Just the right teacher or teaching would appear in my inbox.
I adore the courage of your path; a good friend who appeared at just the right time on my path, calls it “the path in motion”. You take the first step and the things you need to spur you on (back) toward meeting the self you long for seem to appear.
Happy to share the journey with you!
xmarga
Hi Marga — How superbly you have told this story, described the players and articulated the dynamics. Compassion, forgiveness, trust of self/Self and heeding Spirit’s clarion call to release all obligations other than to Creator and your own Sovereign Self. Wonderful! Good for you. Good for US! Thank you for your work and for sharing the fruits, Alia
Thank you, Alia. Feels like a wash of light over me to read your response to these words. We are living different lives, but somehow it feels like one story. deep bow to you in gratitude, xmarga
I think you are right — it IS one story, a long and complex drama that is now — blessedly — coming to a close. We are to co-create new stories, equally thrilling, but without the violence to each other. For now we understand that we are one. Love to you, Alia