Did I draw this darkness to me? Maybe.
Could have been that challenging student,
the complaints of my child,
the traffic, the heat –
but quick as a blink, I’ve
exchanged rose lenses
for cataracts.
No food, no phone call, no errand
will allow me escape when
the old hag is sitting on my chest.
With not enough air to even cry out –
I overcome panic and
let the message
sink in –
sink down –
drown me.
100,000 feet within me there is more
than I can understand,
cold, damp,
pregnant with a mystery –
what will be born?
I’ve been escaping into lists
penned with surface – purpose fantasies,
instead of sinking to the bottom.
I’ve made the darkness grow and
now, here it is:
a dusty brick weighting my heart.
Awful, this feeling.
But isn’t that just it – why I avoid looking here?
The aching seabed calls to me –
this bruise is my alarm.
How many lives will I run away?
How many times have I gotten busy,
engaging anyone who would have me,
to escape the soul reason I came for?
Though I shiver from a chill at 95 degrees,
every cell cuddles
and chooses to remain
with me.
I quit my face; I silence my ringer;
I’m marrying my shadow
in a dark wedding.
I make no promises,
about the reception
on the other side,
but if I had to give odds,
I think it is already lifting and
I’d stick around for the lemon cookies –
If I were you,
which I am;
they are worth the wait.
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http://www.onegreenplanet.org/plant-based-recipes/raw-vegan-lemon-meltaway-balls/
Life as Improv 