Even leisure can be a to-do list:
___ get out in nature,
___ bathe,
___ relax!!!!
___ pet the cat,
___ listen to the owl,
___ go to yoga,
___ sit silently for x amount of minutes,
___ eat nutritious food,
but true letting go hammers no list.
Health comes in its own time with no terms.
Music is found under layers of clutter, cleared away.
No one was actually keeping score.
The list keeper is happy to turn the reigns over,
as long as she is
convinced
converted
at last
by the magic mother once again –
she is stunned into silence by a something larger
that she cannot understand.
She is silenced finally in
open space full of nothing
no appointment
no calls to make
no bills to pay
no food to eat
no person expecting…anything.
How many years does it take to clear space like this?
Many and none –
a miracle
this island
in the middle of doing
always existing, almost invisible
right here
a chair
a breeze
an open ear
without a ready response
no sizing up
no plan
no worry
houses lost
clothes outgrown
a trillion cicadas clacking, mating and dying
while this body learned to have no clock
learned that needs will make themselves known
without having to cry –
a baby again
in the arms of such a large mother
as I can be to myself.
No other task was ever more important;
no job was ever asked.
