Talk of spirituality can be such a turn off. I know that feeling of squirm inside when someone speaks about spirit. Squish and uck!
Such a personal and internal thing – the soul beneath the experiences – the self in a cave behind the waterfall flow of life.
When it is spoken of, pointed to, preached about, proselytized outward, sung across the mountain – I turn into goth girl, sarcastic and cynic – blue about the lips.
I apologize for bringing it up if it makes you squirm.
In my journey, the floor has been yanked from underneath me over and over again. Just a few: the death of my brother when I was 14, loss of religion, loss of the conditioned aspects of life – roles – and a near death experience that brought me to a brink and made me choose to live. When there was no ground beneath me, what helped get me back into a body, back into the journey?
Voices and words of teachers that I found on my own had a place for me. Every teacher is just a pointer, showing his own way to a deeper thread, which he himself will tell you is unknowable.
I was just finishing typing this post and the doorbell rang. Some lovely southern ladies with hats and dresses came by and gave me a pamphlet for a convention about their religion. Hello. Didn’t even know the doorbell worked!
I hold gently the words as I gradually begin to relax and float down the stream, dissolving little bit by little bit into the water.
Today I get to meet my friend visiting from far away for a downtown Charleston bimble and explore!
Today I choose to live.
Sometimes people say they can smell freedom.
They say they fall more and more into the embrace of That which is unspeakable.
And I have to acknowledge that this is not merely an intellectual thought or conviction.
It is a deep inner thing; a felt experience in the Heart beyond words and thoughts, and yet I have to tell you that what you are falling into Is and was already here—unchangingly.
It is what you already are and no distance is involved.
Has anyone ever heard of a falling where there was no distance?
This is the fall where there is no distance.
It’s the greatest fall; the falling away of delusion.
~ Mooji
10th of June, 2013
Life as Improv 