inside job

25 Dec

Where I am x and  x is = to ∞ ,

why do I ever go around as if

x is = to all that I can see with my eyes and finite?

What sort of geometry and algebra

has to be proofed

again and again –

the same problem in different words –

for a pupil who refuses to draw on the board?

That we are christ-ing

seems suddenly clear.

We are learning to see:

the potential of endless –

the true value of forever –

the reality of all possible –

instead of counting the change in our pocket

and calling ourselves poor.

The same flame that lights the

brightest –  largest stars

somehow resides immaterially immortally immensely

within the material

of us.

A miracle such as this

is overlooked;

we glance beyond our own pregnant

emptiness into plastic dime store glitter.

We squint through blackened windows

shouting out,

who is there?

Who has come to save me?

Today, I feel

like wearing a white

robe, closing  my eyes,

my hands facing out to bless us all,

while I withdraw

to the fireside gathering

in the middle of my dark hollow chest.

From here,

rises the Titanic –

from here

the budding of all flowers opens –

from here I hear –

the pop of  the champagne cork

of endless joy

for what we make suddenly appear from

within our black magician hats.

Tonight and always now I am hiring myself

for the job – that I used to hire out.

I am just beginning to see the irony

of the inside job.

What a joke I play on me.



17 Responses to “inside job”

  1. ptero9 December 25, 2014 at 4:39 am #

    Lovely thoughts. Happy Holidays. May peace and joy be with you in 2015 Marga!

    • marga t. December 25, 2014 at 8:54 pm #

      Peace and joy and hugs back your way, Debra!

  2. New Earth Paradigmn December 25, 2014 at 10:55 am #

    Dear Marga — what an awesome tribute to our moment by moment opportunity to make a choice: do I continue to “count the change in my pocket and call myself poor?” OR do I choose to see and give my attention to: “the potential of endless; the true value of forever; the reality of all possible?”

    In a few short lines, you have articulated (and poetically too) the choice and commitment I have made to myself in the past couple of weeks. It is the intentional focus of New Earth Paradigm as we go forward on what I call The New Timeline. I will add your beautiful version of this message to my abundant supply of material and re-post it in the coming days. New Timeline Blessings to you and yours ♥

    • marga t. January 5, 2015 at 12:41 pm #

      Many blessings to you and Tomas, as well. So great to be on the same wave length for a big ride into the new! xo! marga

  3. Hariod Brawn December 25, 2014 at 12:29 pm #

    It is indeed a wonder that our curious, word-obsessed minds should continue to weave their curious little ways, even as our ‘pregnant emptiness’ invites it to desist from what are in truth its own navel-gazing reflections; for the mind is not apart from that emptiness of course. The student mind gazes, at times forlornly, at ‘blackened windows’ as The Great Teacher of Emptiness quietly inscribes wordless equations of eternity upon the board.

    And perhaps, after all, not everything is to be known all at once, all of the time; that appears to be the design of things for the most part, or at least, what occurs through chance and necessity for the human animal. And should the curious little tutee be concerned about all of this? It can be if it so desires; it will alter nothing – the irony of the inside job remains. It is indeed some joke that emptiness plays upon itself; yet how else could it be made to laugh?

    With much gratitude for your great imagination and offering here Marga; the whole has enabled me to see reflections once again via your unique prism of light.

    Hariod. ❤

    • marga t. December 27, 2014 at 3:00 am #

      You make me remember that I never tossed my toddlers the keys to the car. Unfolding as we do through time, bit by bit, in direct contrast to the light bulb which turns on in an instant. Am I too tired and not making sense? Koans come at the edge of sleepiness, seeming true, hilarious, and utterly futile to explain. Sending you love as our daylight inches up by minutes now 🙂
      xo! Marga

      • Hariod Brawn December 27, 2014 at 11:13 am #

        Oh, we make far too much sense in our little lives Marga; it’s good when we can feel free to be nonsensical. No part of an equation makes sense on its own; yet we can remember that we are all indeed complete equations of eternity nonetheless. H ❤

  4. cheyennepaints December 25, 2014 at 3:06 pm #

    Please do hire yourself for the inside out job, Marga. I have always felt your white robed blessings and am deeply appreciative of your perceptions on our behalf. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays of joyful insights!

    • marga t. December 27, 2014 at 3:03 am #

      Cheyenne, I got the job, hooray! 🙂 Hope your Desert Christmas was lovely and warm and full of beauty. xo! marga

  5. Kelly Kuhn December 25, 2014 at 3:26 pm #

    Soaking up this one. Phrase after phrase – and every beautiful message therein – touched me this morning. I am already feeling touched by a quiet Christmas morning, the blessings of having both of my daughters sleeping upstairs, the tug of regret at offering a leaner offering of gifts to them this year, and the sadness of not being with my brothers and sisters-in-law and their children today. Touched by the relief of having a slow morning after too many fast and crazy days the past 2 months. Such is the richness of the human experience.

    Feeling your light, grateful you let it shine on us. Wishing you light and love, and many riches.

    • marga t. December 27, 2014 at 12:44 pm #

      A treat to be able to visit with you in such a intimate and pregnant moment such as this, Kelly, in your life flow. You gift others with the real deal of the human flow, the truth of the contrast, for which I am touched by and grateful for! May we both enjoy the ride into winter and spring, while also still treasuring the blessing of sleeping daughters in our houses, when those moments arrive. love to you! marga

  6. Michael December 25, 2014 at 4:28 pm #

    No one present in this world should be permitted to say about themselves, that they refuse to take a turn at the board… Isn’t that what this world is? Our opportunity to take everything we see with our eyes and wink at it? To infuse it with the invisible calculus alive within us, and make such plain to see?

    Thank you for the lovely reflections, for embracing the true and the powerful so mightily.


    • marga t. December 27, 2014 at 12:49 pm #

      There is something about your first sentence that feels very proclamatory – no one, indeed, and yet, sometimes I think I did not know that I wasn’t taking a turn, looking through a lens of conditioning. It took a good bit of shifting and stripping away to help me step up to MY OWN PLATE, much like my refusal to take Calculus because i liked getting my safe and certain A’s in math. oye vey!
      (I finally got to see Interstellar with my girls. We had so much fun discussing and debating.) Looking forward to a glimpse into some fiction as time opens up!

  7. smilecalm December 25, 2014 at 5:18 pm #

    so logical a reflection!
    still it would be nice to hire it done 🙂

    • marga t. December 27, 2014 at 12:52 pm #

      There is often so much to do,
      delegation becomes
      a defining moment.
      I get help with cleaning
      the bottom of my boat
      from fellows in scuba gear…
      wonder if they trek the
      murky waters within… 🙂

  8. ~meredith December 27, 2014 at 4:44 am #


    beautiful gift

    came to life as I danced your poem.

    this is so beautiful, marga.

    ~ m

    • marga t. December 27, 2014 at 12:54 pm #

      I love a chance to dance
      along with you, ~meredith!

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