yo no sè

6 Dec

slime-mold-amoeba-dictybase-grimson-blanton

I don’t have a plan.
I don’t know what is coming.
I sometimes forget my age and my name.
The unconstructed parts of the self
are laid out on the floor
not matching the diagram pictures.
I’m missing two nuts,
one wrench;
Part A doesn’t easily slide into Part B.
The counter-clock-wise arrows
on page two must be wrong!
Perhaps the technical graphing
was composed in the southern hemisphere
where water drains
in reversing tornado swirls?
I’m beginning to question
the whole process of composition.
Perhaps the parts that make a whole
can linger for a while

in parts

all acting on their own accord.
A little corporation I am
with an accounting department,
a culinary wing,
a corrupted think-tank
with no conclusive evidence to report.
The cosmic broom
sweeps eventually
into the dustbin
me
whether I am put together
or not
for recycling.
This composting
is no tragedy,
this trip back to
flickering light
in its smallest
intentions for goodness,
to build
again and again,
up
and
down,
from Aphrodite
to throbbing amoeba
crushing on the slimy mould
next door.

16 Responses to “yo no sè”

  1. Hariod Brawn December 6, 2014 at 3:32 pm #

    “I’m missing two nuts, one wrench”

    Darling, but aren’t we all? 🙄

    • marga t. December 6, 2014 at 6:18 pm #

      That is true! But an even bigger blessing is the missing instruction manual.

  2. smilecalm December 6, 2014 at 3:51 pm #

    don’t know what it means
    then i breath and smile 🙂

    • marga t. December 6, 2014 at 6:19 pm #

      All ways
      your smiling response
      is just one
      breath away. :))))

  3. Andrea December 6, 2014 at 4:03 pm #

    Funny thing – yesterday while cleaning the bathroom, the phrase ‘yo no se’ came out of my mouth for absolutely no reason. (No one was near me, I guess I said it to myself?) I actually stopped mid window sill wipe and chuckled at myself! Perhaps we were together in our cosmic cleaning. It seems, as the other A can attest, we are tossing thoughts and phrases to each other all over the place. So glad to know you were with me. 🙂 I know this cycle so well, it is so fabulous and difficult. There are times when I am not sure if I am mold, or Aphrodite, or simply a moldy Aphrodite! I feel myself taking a respite in the shallow silly beautiful nonsense of holidays, jumping into a world of plastic and sparklies, with no deep meaning, just eat drink and be merry. But, underneath, all the churning and ticking and clicking and breaking and rebuilding continues. In the meantime, I can lend you some nuts and bolts. Last time I put myself together I somehow ended up with extra pieces. Now where did I put that instruction manual….

    • marga t. December 6, 2014 at 6:26 pm #

      The thinning membrane of separation between my brain and thou’s – such an unanticipated and often enjoyed side-effect of…??? Not sure! Toasting you in this merry time. I feel such awareness of the process of deconstruction right now. It looks like a metaphor poem, but actually, I’m just describing my living room floor, laid out with all my parts that may not wish to go back together again. I’ll just have to see how this story ends on its own time. xo!! m

  4. sayyestoeverything December 6, 2014 at 9:29 pm #

    Haha! Beautiful. Thank you for making me smile.

    • marga t. December 7, 2014 at 1:43 pm #

      Thank you for smiling with me. It is really all so funny, isn’t it Ms. YES?! 🙂

  5. tiramit December 6, 2014 at 11:18 pm #

    Amazing… tell me about the picture

    • marga t. December 7, 2014 at 1:51 pm #

      Funny how one thing leads to another and another, isn’t it? – I am making Kombucha at home which led to me feeling myself to be such a colony of all sorts of small, powerful, intelligences all working together in unison to give this larger “identity” BEingness. Here is a link to where the picture came from: http://www.wired.com/2011/01/bacteria-farming-amoeba/
      Fascinating step between Amoeba and Slimy mould (I’ve seen it spelled both ways.) This colony of bacteria waves across the world to your colony of bacteria. 🙂

      • tiramit December 12, 2014 at 7:36 am #

        Thanks for that. What we thought was the usual DIY self-assembly thing turns out to be very much more complex; parts all acting on their own accord. It’s mind-blowing description of Beingness…

  6. Michael December 7, 2014 at 12:14 am #

    Those starter-kit selves never work as intended. 🙂 I’ve always thought if we all pooled together the extraneous parts from our living room floors, we’d have a parts bin with the components each other one of us needs most. We keep thinking the kit is for a perfect self, a discrete self… but really all the kits out there are somehow intertwined as a single whole– one missing bolt here is found in the kit over there, and so on.

    The alternative of course is a hot glue gun and a holster full of melty bullets. It holds together for a little while…

    Michael

    • marga t. December 7, 2014 at 2:10 pm #

      MM – You got me envisioning this morning some sort of Holiday Cookie/Component exchange gathering. You and Andrea can contribute the seasonal cheer, and we can all gather for a huge “parts” and Grandma cookie recipe swap! No need to RSVP – I know you will be there, for certain!

      Seeing M taught me how to use a glue gun and now I am a quick draw for striking up all sorts of projects just to feel the joy of that satisfying feeling which serious adhesion brings out in me. (I think I just demonstrated swap that has already occurred!)

      How do we go from single intelligences gobbling up goo to billions and billions working together while forgetting the whole thing, thinking I am again a single thing? So mysterious!

  7. Kelly Kuhn December 16, 2014 at 2:53 pm #

    “a corrupted think-tank”

    and

    “This composting
    is no tragedy.”

    You have given me yet another sigh and smile. And another, and another.

    • marga t. December 18, 2014 at 2:19 am #

      I am so enjoying a tiny bit of space at the close of the semester this week…you too?

      • Kelly Kuhn December 24, 2014 at 7:38 pm #

        Ah, just saw this! Only the tiniest bit of space for me, unfortunately. But, yes, I am appreciative.

        One of my favorite quotes is “The Universe is chasing me down is covering me with blessings.” Or something like that. I’ve always taken it to mean positive blessings. (But, they are all blessings, regardless of how they feel, yes?) Well, I am being chased and covered right now, but I haven’t yet felt the positive part of it.

        Seeing your comment today is opening me to the positive, to this bit of space right now that feels good. Thank you!

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