the fitness of grace

26 Jan


As I was getting ready for my shower this morning, I had a flash thought of my cousin Susan.  The reason she came into my head was for a funny thing she revealed to me about herself many, many years ago.  It was a good thought.

She once told me that before she got into the shower, she made herself do something like 10 push ups and 10 other difficult rotating exercises vigorously, then she rewarded herself with a shower.  She valued the appearance of her body and played this game with herself in her busy life at that time to keep herself in shape.  She has come to my mind often for this one single truth sharing over 20 years ago.

The knob on our shower is sticking, making turning on the water a difficulty.  I got myself in an athletic lunge position and pulled mightily away from the shower wall to get the water flowing.  This position brought the thought of Susan and her exercises and made me smile.  I see that behind this nice thought of Susan is a cascade of sorrowful thoughts as well, that I choose not to follow.  I bowed to her after my lunge this morning,  encasing  the sorrow to give equal time to the sides of her that contained beauty and truth and love.

In the past 10 years, many lives have changed drastically in my family and acquaintances.  It has been quite a rocky avalanche of downfall, tragedy, unveiling of hidden lives, pain, separation and destruction —> through the lens of appearances.  HOWEVER, through another lens altogether ——-> the happenings seemed to bring truth to a head, giving each of us the opportunity to pop the  abscesses and heal, or to allow the disease to sink deeper into our vessel and take us out for good.

Susan had such a story and in the examination of the spiral down, there are avenues of thought that can take that dead end into judgment,  self-righteousness, alluring despair, hopelessness, anger.  This morning I recognize that I consciously do not go down any avenue except the one of grace today with my thoughts.  I honor the pain – but also choose to remember the good things that became harder to see.  I honor the funny, quirky, light and beautiful threads that were woven into the delicate thread of her life.  I do a few lunges  and some push ups before the reward of the shower in her honor and with a smile.

Thinking of her this way allows me also to dwell on the immensity of choice and the truth of grace.   In the tie to this wordily reality, the body seems the whole shebang, and death seems a final defeat.  Yet through a longer, zoomed back view, death is such a tender release and restart button for the journey.  Grace –  shanti -love –  OM – blessings of life and death as just inhales and exhales of a much larger path.

Those 10 pushups this morning strengthen my arms and soften my heart!


9 Responses to “the fitness of grace”

  1. Awareness ItSelf January 26, 2014 at 4:05 pm #

    I don’t know what it is with us and these strange syncronicities. But I was just thinking of how I need to start a fitness program, the body is aging, creaking, stuck like your tap. I will think of Susan today as I lunge forward. Love your last sentence, inhales and exhales of a much larger path, sure puts everything in its rightful place. Luv to you om Shanti, Erin 🙂

    • marga t. January 26, 2014 at 4:30 pm #

      I love the grace of our overlapping paths; our ticking time meters for these cool rides have the same punch card appointments for oil changes, tire rotation, alignment… It is very motivating to imagine a compadre in the fun job of loosing up the creaking axle joints of our perfect bodies 🙂 Om Shanti, right back at you! catching up over at your place now! xo! marga

  2. Michael January 27, 2014 at 1:29 am #

    This post carries the razor’s edge of impermanence in it, as we observe the movement of beings in and out of this plane, perhaps for reasons they chose, perhaps for reasons they might say they did not. As you say, when confronted by this reality, it is so easy to plummet on the one hand, to be sunk by the weight of bounded perception. On the other, we can find some mysterious and continual movement, bursting with meaning, on display.

    As children, we think the people we might early in our life will be part of our lives forever. We learn that people move in and out of our lives. They retire. They move away. They make a new choice, one we are not called to make. Each change can sting. But I think you hit upon the essential characteristic: all this movement “brings truth to a head.”

    I am struck by the fact that we think/believe, many of us perhaps anyway, that death is the ultimate revelation, our right to face the truth that cannot be denied us. And so… we spiral out…


    • marga t. January 27, 2014 at 8:10 pm #

      And perhaps then we spiral back in for some more!

      I so appreciate the way you take a few plunked keys and run with it – so to speak. I open just a hint of an idea I’m often not even conscious of and you riff on those notes and reflect back to me a melody and beyond. There is such a paradigm shifting song when the little life takes on a longer perspective – ultimate revelation to us here from out there is just another rung up the ladder – or so it seems when I am floating out there! Bow of gratitude to you, Michael, in your ever fresh and tuneful ear! marga

  3. ptero9 January 27, 2014 at 5:44 am #

    “HOWEVER, through another lens altogether ——-> the happenings seemed to bring truth to a head, giving each of us the opportunity to pop the abscesses and heal, or to allow the disease to sink deeper into our vessel and take us out for good.”

    So true and a recent lesson within the beloved and yet baffling circumstance of family.

    I love them anyway…and I, too, continue the regiment of push-ups and very small things that seem so necessary.

    Death will come, I pray, be ready!

    • marga t. January 27, 2014 at 8:15 pm #

      So nice to have you by my side for the push ups and the loving of the baffling! 🙂 I do love the saying, “Today is a good day to die!” With that mindset, we are always ready! Much peace and joy sent to you! xo! marga

  4. shamanictracker January 30, 2014 at 4:19 pm #

    I looove this image with the quote!
    Yes it can be challenging to not get drawn into the bad news forecasted 24/7 and other people’s life stories. And preserve one’s own space and stillness. Yet still be empathetic 🙂
    As for the body, I am also sometimes more motivated by appearance than health, even though deep down I know better 🙂 Lol
    Happy exercising! If you want something fun and free, check out Qoya videos at
    (Rochelle is my favorite shaman girlfriend. She is also a dancer and yoga teacher, and her classes are the best!)
    I also posted some links in my post on the importance of exercise:
    I find that exercising is much easier when fun! xox

    • marga t. January 30, 2014 at 5:17 pm #

      What great links! I will enjoy exploring Rochelle’s videos (where is she located? How beautiful is that space!) I enjoy the full bodied spiritual experience, of which movement and exercise is a key part ! Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom and joy!

      • shamanictracker January 30, 2014 at 8:32 pm #

        OMG you would love her classes and retreats. She is an amazing spirit and a lot of fun. She is currently based close to LA but she travels all over the US + worldwide. Don’t hesitate to contact her or check her schedule on her blog or FB page (it’s a public page and you can access it even if you do not have an FB account). Hope this helps. Enjoy 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: