one, not two

15 Dec

solo trip

Copyright © Leszek Bujnowski.

You  allow, you invite the lesson, you sit in silence as life takes its course, you give up the illusion of control, you do the next thing that arises.  You stop pointing fingers, you  think, you look within………….and yet nothing gives.

Some things seemed created for the purpose of being intensely worrisome, yet they are not deadly enough to put you out of here.

Some problems push the buttons of hopeless feelings; they leave you staring up at a  impassable cliff while you physically feel yourself  sinking into quicksand.

Don’t we all have  problems like this?  The kind for which you cannot find the key to unlock to save your life.

These challenges seem the very things that force us to step into a conversation with the mystery.  There is no where else to go.

Remembering that every problem is spiritual in nature, always, all ways, is not always what I want  to hear, but until I remember this, I am stuck.  

Excerpted from Depak Chopra’s book Spiritual Solutions: Answers to Life’s Greatest Challenges

Spirituality begins with a decisive answer… It says that life isn’t random. There is pattern and purpose inside every existence. The reason that challenges arise is simple: to make you more aware of your inner purpose.

If the spiritual answer is true, there should be a spiritual solution to every problem— and there is. The answer doesn’t lie at the level of the problem, even though most people focus all their energies at that level. The spiritual solution lies beyond. When you can take your awareness outside the place where struggle is ever-present, two things happen at the same time: your awareness expands, and with that, new answers begin to appear. When awareness expands, events that seem random actually aren’t. A larger purpose is trying to unfold through you…
…The first step in this process is recognizing what level of awareness you are working from right now. Every time a challenge comes your way, whether it is about relationships, work, personal transitions, or a crisis that demands action, there levels of awareness. Become aware of them, and you will take a huge step toward finding a better answer.”

Problems are mirrors:  some are showing me where I’ve forgotten you and me are the same.   My student who drove me up the wall, in the end, was an expression of me.  We finished our dance, and she taught me where I still saw us as two.   Firmness or softness in reaction to her became a non-issue,  laughing or soothing, feeding or withholding, all these dualities and everything in between all flowing clearly without seeing difference in the end, because in that one tiny mirror, I see what is what.  She is me.

Laughing At the Word Two
That Illumined
Who keeps
Seducing the formless into form
Had the charm to win my
Only a Perfect One
Who is always
Laughing at the word
Can make you know
From: ‘The Gift’ 
Translated by Daniel Ladinsky

The answer to my health, the answer to my relationships, the answer to my work, my house,  my flow:  one.  I am one with my body, all other people, all objects, all nature, my space, my moments, my unfolding life – all me.

I think it is not just love your neighbor as yourself, but love your neighbor – she is you.  Love every thing; everything is me.    (Am I one upping Jesus?  God,  how ridiculous am I?:)

 Today, Hafiz and Dr. Chopra are my old friends, voices I love to have in my ear, clues sent just for me in the dance.
Now for the day.  Listening to the rain.  Letting the crisp air wake me up to the space that has been holding me all this time, a place with no thoughts.  Let me feel my arms and legs move; let me clear away the piles of chores put off for today.  Let me be present in the moment with those I choose to engage with.  Let me  Listen for the sizzle of energy in the air  – the sizzle of All Possible – in every moment. Let me be one, not two; let me zoom out and become the solution.  Let me be grateful for the prickly problems I’ve created for such holy moments as these.

22 Responses to “one, not two”

  1. britlight December 15, 2013 at 2:44 pm #

    In a much similar space as this; your post brought tears to my eyes. Thank you. (It’s a good thing) 🙂

    • marga t. December 15, 2013 at 7:26 pm #

      So so good for me to know the experiences are shared!

  2. ptero9 December 15, 2013 at 3:11 pm #

    I do love the clarity you speak of, even in the middle of the mud(dle). 🙂

    • marga t. December 15, 2013 at 10:07 pm #

      🙂 Calling it out, today.

  3. Alison December 15, 2013 at 3:15 pm #

    Love everything; everything is me. Yes! Only one. ❤ ❤ ❤
    Thank you for this, and for Haviz, to take into my day.

    • marga t. December 16, 2013 at 12:00 am #

      Thank you, Alison. Haviz is so clear and a good start to a day. I hope yours was beautiful!

  4. reneetamara December 15, 2013 at 7:31 pm #

    thanks, I needed that!

  5. lauriesnotes December 15, 2013 at 9:37 pm #

    Yes, it is interesting to realize it is all me. Not so scary or foreign in a way.
    Love to you –

    • marga t. December 16, 2013 at 12:57 am #

      Yes, close and familiar – that has been such a surprise to me 🙂
      Much love back to you, Laurie!

  6. Gede Prama December 17, 2013 at 3:38 am #

    Thank you for your article is quite good and we hope that all our friends every success and thank you all, greetings.

    • marga t. December 17, 2013 at 4:23 pm #

      Big wide smile sent back to you, today. 🙂 So very lovely to see you! I look forward to diving into your deep pool of words as often as I’m able.

  7. The Retired Seeker December 17, 2013 at 3:43 am #

    Think I’ll add you to the “voices I love to hear in my ear, clues sent just for me in the dance”….love that. Thanks.

    • marga t. December 17, 2013 at 4:14 pm #

      Such a blessing to have those voices, and the voices of ones such as you, sharing the journey home together with me 🙂

  8. seeingm December 17, 2013 at 8:58 am #

    I so would enjoy a helping of your writing’s clarity to cut through some of my Rumi speak. LOVE READING EVERY WORD YOU WRITE!

    I ALSO LOVE THAT SUSPENDED SPACE IN THE MIDDLE OF YOUR PICTURE. It is in motion and always being in the middle of it at the same time. Aren’t we always in the middle of where we are going if there is new motion? Stillness in motion is a beautiful thing. 1 + 1 =1 love that math -x.M

    • marga t. December 17, 2013 at 4:19 pm #

      So love that I am one with you two 🙂 Your Rumi esque words inspire and flow – raising awareness of the nexus to the new languages. xo! m

  9. Michael December 23, 2013 at 10:36 pm #

    So, maybe the moment has passed and this reply will be way off from where you are at in the present. Hopefully the moment of loggerheads dissolved into the rain of that day. Those moments when we collide into situations that feel like dead ends, when the resources we are able to bring individually to the moment seem too thin- the ones that cause our stomachs to crawl up our spines and bring all of life to a screeching, trembling stasis- are awful. I have felt them many a time. Felt closed off from possibility, on the wrong side of some bullet proof pane of glass from the places where Life is dwelling. They do so force us to look to places at a right angle to the current moment for a solution. Your willingness to do so is powerful to behold. Hafiz is such a wondrous friend in these moments: he suddenly appears in the glass, transforms it into a holy mirror that returns us to us, as his presence in the glass swirls into a pathway out to the other side, through our very Self.


    • marga t. December 24, 2013 at 12:54 am #

      I am still staring this particularly sticky challenge in the face, though I no longer feel quick sanded by it. I read an article about Rinpoche healing himself of gangrene – sorry to be explicit, but the realization I had that it took him a year of meditating and flowing through the illness without fear, just trust, to do so, made me see how challenges may not have immediate turn around, though the healing has already occurred! I am flowing to match the resolution that already is. Somedays, this is easier than others, but if I can maintain center even in the midst, I see the teaching of staying present through this particular brand of suffering. As always, I love your double paned 🙂 bullet proof metaphor – little match girl, I see, looking through the window you describe, and Hafiz does not shatter the glass but shows me/us the swirly pathway through – Wonderful. So your comment is ever so timely, as I have cleared my decks to address the business of marga – I am gifting myself to myself this holiday. Are you doing that too? Thank you so so much for your presence in the flow with me in this river of truth! M is such a blessing to this M!

      • Michael December 24, 2013 at 1:30 pm #

        Your reply reminds me of how great a challenge it can be sometimes to allow transformation to gestate in time. There is that part of us that recognizes it has already been done, that somewhere down one of those snaking 4D life tubes of possibility the renovation we desire stands completed, and what remains is walking to it. Why can’t we just be there? What is the point of time’s charade?

        It reminds me of something Jesus wrote in A Course of Love about the way the separation occurred- that the challenge of spirit learning to deal with the constraints of living in physical form as the movement into a physical world was just beginning was just too much, and we became impatient with how long it took to simply learn to breath, or to chew, or to walk. We were used to a swifter and effortless way of being. And we basically stormed out of the classroom and said, “We can figure this out faster on our own…” Now we are coming back to the reunion of spirit and form, and Jesus says basically, that the remaining transformation will unfold in time, even though the reality of who we truly are is already completed.

        Wishing you blessings on this day. I just glanced over my shoulder and saw a deer standing patiently at the tree line of our backyard, ears scanning space on their little swivels, awaiting the signal to either advance or retreat. It is so beautiful to watch an animal respond to “what is”- so innocent, so committed, so free of analysis and thought, so invested in the present. So heart-warming. Sending you that feeling, too.


  10. Hariod Brawn December 29, 2014 at 2:42 pm #

    Some say that ‘one’ is the loneliest number; yet might we say that aloneness also means the absence of ‘otherness’?

    Hariod. [Not a solipsist] ❤

    • marga t. December 29, 2014 at 7:39 pm #

      I am spurred to another viewing of my favorite tree movie – it has been a while! I don’t know for sure but somewhere along the way, it seems that embracing aloneness, the pure aloneness that existing in this body on a solo journey brings about, led strangely to the “absence of otherness” that you call out – can solipsism be a stage to recognizing every journey as your own? – probably I’m leaping around in ideas without regard. One is not lonely like the song, that much I know! Grateful for you. xo! marga

      • Hariod Brawn December 29, 2014 at 7:43 pm #

        Great film; one of my all time favourites. 🙂

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