It appears as if an explosion has occurred in my daughter’s bedroom

14 Sep

room explosion

and this too shall pass.

Life is a messy endeavor.

Humor helps.  Want to laugh with me?

The poor girl.

I wouldn’t want to face this mess!

Her nature it seems is to drop things as she goes; she has yet to learn to befriend herself by keeping her things neat, organized, available, clean.  I would love for her to learn this – for my benefit sure, but mostly for herself.

Her mad scrambles for a particular shirt, a pair of shoes, a misplaced homework assignment are difficult, frenetic scenes to witness.

I do lapse into hands on hips moments.  I lapse into solving the problem for her.  I lapse into detached apathy.  I can be found to think the thought she will never get this and we who live with her will pay the price – I shrug, I shut the door, I sigh, I laugh.  I detach from the idea that the state of her room reflects my parenting ability.

What started out messy, when I left town last Thursday, has turned into frightful.  Maybe she is getting ready for Halloween.    If the police were to enter the house unannounced, they would mark this room a crime scene.  They would look for the thieves who turned it upside down looking for money.  They would call social services.

The drum beat in her head  is her own.  I understand my job more and more as a fellow traveler with her along the road is to stand back for her to learn through natural results of her own behavior and choices and yet to also help her find her own way, gently.

I have offered to set the alarm super early tomorrow to assist – not take over – but to offer hands for picking up, return her to the system I tried to create for her when she was in NYC  or perhaps to help her to come up with her own system.

We are only here in our lives for such a short while.  Having a place where things go seems to me a good way to enjoy the ride – but that may not be her journey.   Meanwhile, let’s close the door and enjoy some Billy Collins!

7 Responses to “It appears as if an explosion has occurred in my daughter’s bedroom”

  1. Kelly Kuhn September 14, 2013 at 8:31 pm #

    Wonderful! I’m tempted to take a picture of my 15 year-old’s bedroom, but she would have a fit. She doesn’t like me coming into her room at all because I may get hurt stepping on something sharp under the layers of clothes. Parenting!

    • marga t. September 14, 2013 at 10:16 pm #

      Photo is taken from the door 🙂 because I cannot tread the floor for the same reason. Eden will be 15 this week – So nice to have your company in this teen girl arena, Kelly!

  2. prewitt1970 September 14, 2013 at 10:31 pm #

    Ah hahahaha Oh so funny, sorry my twenty year old daughter had the same bomb go off… It must be a conspiracy 😉 I don’t even bother ,me: steps back closes the door, shakes head.
    Oh by the way your fabulous 🙂
    Benjamin

    • marga t. September 15, 2013 at 1:18 am #

      Ah ha! Poor victims these girls of the underground mess guerrilla warriors! We are fabulous door shutters, you and me, Ben! So nice to have camaraderie in the beautiful messes in our lives 🙂 m

  3. bussokuseki September 15, 2013 at 8:02 pm #

    Wonderful…we have tried to impress upon our own children the relaxed joy in an orderly environment…but some things are more important to us than others… 🙂

    Be well~

    • marga t. September 16, 2013 at 12:45 am #

      I like your wording – the relaxed joy of an orderly environment I am learning how Acceptance fosters much joy, too. What is important to each of us can vary so much; so true! I appreciate your perspective 🙂 Peace sent your way!

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