once in a lifetime

22 May

Am I the only one who hears this song in my head at moments in my life?

Well, How did I get here?

Lately, no words are here as I feel like I am slipping away.  I go about the business of living, regimented  in times and places to be, money to be exchanged, chores to be accomplished.

Joyful moments come from exchanges with strangers. While I am Dropping off a load at Goodwill  (I’m clearing out in anticipation of our move in june)  the man helping me carry things told me I had the most wonderful voice.  My voice.  How funny.   Compliments are a way to break the ice of our solitude, the way I see it.  We bask together in our smiles this sunny day in the drop off line.  We  leave each other with the parting words…hang on tight. Oh yes, you too, hang on!.  I can’t make that up.

I announce at the end of class today to my students that I may not return the last days of class this week because I have found a new religion that requires me to move to Israel and change my name and sign over my possessions.  I thank them for the hard work and ask them to wish me well.    There are no rules.

Take my worries, take my shame, take my shyness, take my trophies and certificates.  Take the hopes and dreams based on whom I thought was coming to dinner.  Take the molehills, the ditches, the numb sleepwalking and shove them all down the cosmic commode.  There is no waste; every experience in  the random experiment is recycled and reused in the mini bubble of this universe in an ocean of universes, needle prick – POP.

The ugly reality show of some parts of this messed up joke of a planet have been cancelled, but the actors and the cameramen keep showing up, so the show keeps rolling on.

Some of us have stepped off that treadmill.  Some of us don’t care what you call us or if you agree or  if you like us.  We are here and open, wide newborn babies, but with an aged wariness too (can that be?) – aware of the different sides of this chasm of change.  Run and jump over the crevasse.  Truth so naked and so raw and so delicious on one side and on the other, the same old world we were told was the truth – judgment, hierarchy, surface, eyeballing, rape, projections, desperation.  Turn the light off.   Shut the door.  Go outside as not yourself.  Climb back in the womb and be born anew.

Well, How did I get here?

Stream of consciousness is dangerous business.

21 Responses to “once in a lifetime”

  1. prewitt1970 May 22, 2013 at 10:05 pm #

    Yay now I know I’m not alone, that some has echoed through so much if my life. I must say I really wanted to jump up a skip through the liquid light with you on this one, so open, so true bare and aware, giant hugs for you!!!
    Truly, madly, deeply
    Benjamin

    • marga t. May 22, 2013 at 10:12 pm #

      Thank you, B! Do some paintings surprise you? Do all paintings surprise you? 🙂

      • prewitt1970 May 22, 2013 at 10:22 pm #

        Some do surprise me, but for me that’s part of the magic between me and the medium. I know what I want and some times I get there fast and sometimes never at all. But the journey is always wonderful

  2. ilonca84 May 22, 2013 at 11:56 pm #

    I often find myself asking that question and then realizing in amazement, all the different things that had to happen for me to be right here….right now in this moment. Everything’s so intricate, yet simple at the same time to arrive here, right now. 🙂

    • marga t. May 23, 2013 at 12:50 am #

      ilonca,
      an intricate and simple interweave, so true, as we make our way- though always right here, right now. Thank you for your insight! x!m

  3. nessung May 23, 2013 at 1:47 am #

    Change as it ever is, openness is certain of its uncertainties.

    • marga t. May 23, 2013 at 10:01 am #

      Sitting and smiling with your Koan 🙂

  4. luggagelady May 23, 2013 at 1:55 am #

    LOVE a thousand times! Thanks for this brilliantly refreshing piece!!

    • marga t. May 23, 2013 at 10:08 am #

      Thank you, LL. Looking forward to reading about your travels – the indicating poem intrigues!

  5. smilecalm May 23, 2013 at 2:14 am #

    letting the days go by…wonderful it’s not all a dream
    or is it?

    • marga t. May 23, 2013 at 10:07 am #

      the ongoing epic dream and dreamer…thank you for your polished, topsy clarity

  6. bert0001 May 23, 2013 at 12:46 pm #

    I like this song of the talking heads. The lyrics are amazing. Perhaps I didn’t understand them when I sang along 30 years or more ago.

    Not doing much these days. Willfully not taking much hay on the fork. I consider myself out of the treadmill, but not entirely, and certainly not out of society. One has to get used to living here and now. One needs to be fearless.

    • marga t. May 23, 2013 at 7:00 pm #

      I too did not “get” the lyrics when I first listened a long time ago, but I was attracted to the mystery that was being pointed to.
      I like the hay and fork metaphor! Tangible images often help me in the moment to moment remembering.
      Thanks for your penetrating words, Bert.

      • bert0001 May 23, 2013 at 7:24 pm #

        Thank you for starting this multilogue 🙂

  7. S May 23, 2013 at 1:17 pm #

    Right Here Right Now, Jesus Jones

    A woman on the radio talked about revolution
    When it’s already passed her by
    Bob Dylan didn’t have this to sing about
    You know it feels good to be alive

    I was alive and I waited, waited
    I was alive and I waited for this
    Right here, right now
    There is no other place I want to be
    Right here, right now
    Watching the world wake up from history

    I saw the decade in, when it seemed
    The world could change at the blink of an eye
    And if anything
    Then there’s your sign… of the times

    I was alive and I waited, waited
    I was alive and I waited for this
    Right here, right now

    I was alive and I waited, waited
    I was alive and I waited for this
    Right here, right now
    There is no other place I want to be
    Right here, right now
    Watching the world wake up from history

    Right here, right now
    There is no other place I want to be
    Right here, right now
    Watching the world wake up from history

    Right here, right now
    There is no other place I want to be
    Right here, right now
    Watching the world wake up…

    • marga t. May 23, 2013 at 7:01 pm #

      Thank you S and Jesus! (what a pair) 😉

    • marga t. May 24, 2013 at 2:17 am #

      nice to watch to world wake up with a friend 🙂

  8. Alison May 23, 2013 at 5:26 pm #

    Love this post! Every time I really feel into it – how did I get here? – of course I realise there’s no answer. It just is. No questioner either really. Somewhat discombobulating 🙂
    Completely mysterious. I mean how did I get “here”? And – how did “I” get here? And – where is “here”? And – What is “here”? And what am “I”? Completely mysterious.
    If this is your stream of consciousness it’s a wonderful thing!
    xoxox

    • marga t. May 23, 2013 at 7:07 pm #

      Grooving to your questions, Alison. One question through your lens becomes an infinite question with no answer. Of course! When I get lost in the doing and not thinking, sometimes I “come to” and look around me, trying to remember who I am and how I got here; then the songs plays 🙂 Waving a dangling foot your direction! XO!

  9. seeingm May 24, 2013 at 2:51 pm #

    this is not my beautiful house…
    this is not my beautiful wife…

    lol

    LOVE IT! -x.M

    • marga t. May 24, 2013 at 6:08 pm #

      Waving to you from behind the wheel of a large automobile, hoping you straighten the whole wife/house situation! 🙂

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