dying to die

17 May

skeleton

 Some days are a funeral – for no reason at all.

I wear all black and march around in a most somber way.

But what a relief  – the death march.

Dying is only letting go of that which wishes to suffer.

Backing away from life? perhaps, or

cocooning, while

watching the melodramatic death scene,

hand to the brow and a long, horrible moan.

I sink deep into the grief for the false self,

then come out laughing,

dancing my way to the grave over and over.

And eventually – (NOW) – i will know,

There’s nothing that can die that is not better off that way…

Why wait?

8 Responses to “dying to die”

  1. knightofjanuary May 17, 2013 at 1:12 am #

    This is way to heavy for me. The sadness just overflows.Why is that? Sometimes I feel the same feeling, too. Thanks for sharing this.

    • marga t. May 17, 2013 at 1:20 am #

      Strange the way words capture a moment, but as soon as the truthiness of that moment is captured – it is in the past. Feeling joyful flow again. Thank you for sharing with me in this moment, sir knight! 🙂

  2. seeingm May 17, 2013 at 6:03 am #

    This movie had a deep effect on me… when Maude throws Harold’s gifted ring into the water saying, “so I’ll always know where it is”, something profound cracked open inside of me. It is as if some sort of light turned on in the corner of one of the rooms in my head, allowing me to begin to more clearly see that the truth is only ever pointed to by the objects that we choose to surround us. Some large hook in me that had been caught in the illusion of attachment went back into the water with that ring as well. I realized that never has there be seen (to my knowledge) a luggage rack on a hearse.

    Lovely, I hope the dance over your grave today gave you just what you needed it to. I still trip over the black dog from time to time, but once I can find the opportunity or the “right” time comes to stand back up, the weight of being in the body usually feels a bit lighter to carry. We still feel the pain, but we no longer have to suffer.

    -x.M

    • marga t. May 17, 2013 at 6:42 pm #

      Twas a good dance over the grave – thank you! That particular dance has its own peculiar groove 😉 I am showing this film to my intense maymester class on Monday. Perhaps a few will be open to and ready for a bit of the cracking open experience you describe – or they will suffer through weirdo teacher film choices. thank you for sharing your connection with that scene – I see it anew again!! What a gift! X!

  3. kimberlyharding May 17, 2013 at 12:49 pm #

    Great opening lines- we have all had days such as this. I always find myself wondering “why” on a given day that this sense can happen.

    • marga t. May 17, 2013 at 6:44 pm #

      Yes, I wonder too. The heaviness seems separate from actual circumstance, which thankfully I can see. Learning to walk on through the heaviness, lately.

  4. S May 17, 2013 at 3:09 pm #

    My favorite movie….
    Must be some common energy about….I have been experiencing some discomfort as well. Love ya 🙂

    • marga t. May 17, 2013 at 6:46 pm #

      Come watch it again with my class on Monday 🙂 – then you can be a guest speaker. My fog is lifting – hope your discomfort is fading as well! Enjoy your time in nature this weekend! hbd – on monday!

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