Joy Seems Not a Choice

17 Feb


Drawing Joy – Wojek Kowalski

In these 46 years, some things get clearer.  One thing would be this – You can’t strong arm your way into happiness.

Joy appears to be a symptom of dwelling in the still point self before identification.

My path has taken me to many environments of learning and ignorance, wealth and poverty,  acceptance and rejection, just like most of us, after a while of being here on this planet!  And without a doubt, my joy did not correspond to the outward manifestation of house, body, income, mode of transportation, or social circles.  In fact, the inverse seemed to apply.  Some of my most suffering times were in the midst of worldly defined happiness.

Currently,  I walk without a partner, my daughters are a challenge daily, my future doesn’t require me to wear shades, I’m not as financial secure as I used to be, cough cough; I understate!  But my joy overflowth, often.

When that joy feels lost as often can happen, and the mind devises ways to get it back,  I can imagine myself trapped in those gears.  Enough times, I watch those spiked wheels spin so that, for me, the moments of feeling trapped in sorrow decrease.  Or so it seems.

Joy can flow so strangely in, where the world says it is wholly uncalled for – so inappropriately at times!   I have to contain myself from dancing and sit quietly accepting what is, open-armed waiting for others to join me.  While there is no joy in the suffering of others,  joy springs within the self, it does, when it will, without choice.

15 Responses to “Joy Seems Not a Choice”

  1. kimberlyharding February 17, 2013 at 5:31 pm #

    Love the art work- beautiful and the message!

    • marga t. February 18, 2013 at 1:53 am #

      Thank you Kimberly. I love seeing your art, curious about your materials…

      • kimberlyharding February 18, 2013 at 3:04 pm #

        I use soft pastels on pastel boards like Ampersand ( I think that is the name). I obviously I am so not a trained artist so I really don’t know how to do anything properly. I thought your piece so capture the energy of “Joy”. nice job!

      • marga t. February 18, 2013 at 5:26 pm #

        Oh goodness, no. NOT MY ARTWORK! I linked to the artist. I do like to dabble, but no time at this juncture. The untrained expressions of yours are raw and engaging, to me!

  2. jonathanhilton February 17, 2013 at 6:46 pm #

    I think everyone has been where you are to some degree. Others have faced the challenges without your courage and understanding. Personally I know I haven’t always been good at accepting and understanding, but I get better every day. Thanks for sharing this hopeful message.

    • marga t. February 18, 2013 at 1:54 am #

      Thank you Jonathan. Yes, we are all in the same big boat 🙂 Joyful flow to you, superman 🙂

  3. Awake in 365 Days February 17, 2013 at 7:10 pm #

    Some of my most joyful moments were when I was living in a basement apartment that had bars on the windows, when I was in debt, and alone after separating from a long time boyfriend, but I had moments of such joy that I literally jumped up and down in my small apartment because I couldn’t contain my happiness. It was a time of little obligations and much self discovery. On a different note, looks like we are the same age 🙂

    • marga t. February 18, 2013 at 1:59 am #

      Little obligations, much self discovery – yes! and of course bars on the windows is always a nice touch, ha! So funny the coincidences – 1966 very ripe time 🙂 Hope your flow is nice – do you have little ones? How was your walk on the beach the other day? Joyful flow to you 🙂

      • Awake in 365 Days February 18, 2013 at 3:13 am #

        I miss those days of no obligations, the bars on the windows were a nice touch, LOL. I have two teenage daughters too, 16 and 18, my 16 year old went through a big anger phase which has settled some, now my oldest one suffers with depression/anxiety but is so incredibly insightful, she’s a little Buddha in the making. I’m an August baby, you? I had a lovely walk on the beach that day, and I had a walk tonight along a snow cleared walking path near my home, ohh, it was so beautiful, I thought about you and your love for snow, we finally had mild enough weather in which skin does not freeze in just minutes! I took my dog for a walk along this path that many people take their dogs but I didn’t meet a soul, it was so quiet, there’s a stillness here in winter that is surreal. Joyful flow to you too 🙂

      • marga t. February 18, 2013 at 12:47 pm #

        Uncanny! I am a September baby. I have such funny early memories of the social change rolling through during my childhood, though my parents were decidedly the previous era, the groovy clothes, the music, one babysitter talking about running away to San Francisco, psychedelic art projects…we came in during such a tidal change…miss the groovy! thank you for sharing about your daughters. uncanny again with the close ages and some of the same dynamics in challenges – it seems/anxious,angry split. the angry one is powerful so the flame is turned up high, but can see it should pass, if we can make it through this phase-the time between spells seem to be stretching out. Ah, your walk in the snow, amazing. I grew up in the South, but relished my college years in Ohio, walking over a mile to class in below zero weather, such a new experience and the silence, the beauty, the bodily sensations of the cold. So very nice to meet you, here!

      • Joy is now March 12, 2013 at 12:19 pm #

        I just had to comment here!! I was also born in 1966 and am currently 46. Plus my favourite expression and pen name is Joy is Now. I totally get that Joy comes when you least expect it. Great pst!! Emma xxx

  4. 24.7 February 17, 2013 at 8:48 pm #

    like breath or death it is just happening within you, no choice involved
    good post.

    • marga t. February 18, 2013 at 2:00 am #

      And off you go. JOYful sent to you, in the field beyond right and wrong!

  5. smallpebbles February 18, 2013 at 9:19 am #

    Joy! Joy! thanks for that post!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: