Middle Path Dance

10 Feb

Everything I write here is a lie.

And everything I write is true, in the moment I write it.

My head gets stuck on this…but my heart understands the flow of capturing words that seem to represent the loose hold we all have on TRUTH.  I am just experiencing, relating these experiences and allowing the spin of the mind’s wheels to be observed until its rotation loses energy and momentum, and the spin slows.  Sometimes stillness is left.  There, there are no words, no thoughts, no lies.

While still in a body, there is a dance in the middle path.  Between motion and stillness, between silence and noise, between mud and clear water, between pain and joy.

I like peeking into bloggers lives like Caimbeul or seeingm, where my life in constrast seems so different.  We are all leaves dancing in the wind, some have created a gentle breeze in which to reflect for now, and some have chosen seeming stormy volitility within which to make their journey for now, and those roles will certainly shift and change,  but we are all just leaves still being played by the conditions of the weather between our release and landing.

The line in the sand the now moment seemed to call for yesterday was another play of consciousness that was so perfect for me in this middle Path dance.  The dancer doesn’t stop to think, how do I stay upright?  She dances, and in the now moment the movement that comes next flows within her.

The dance of life is no less graceful.  I’m going to tell a potty training story.   I feel like someone should step in and stop me from telling this, but for some reason it perfectly illustrates how this dance can be for me sometimes.

My oldest daughter was late to potty train, and the learning process ended up becoming a very confusing section of the dance.  My gentle manner was tender in her accidents, and supportive of her efforts, and we ended up in a place where I was carrying 10 outfits for her around in my bag, no hyperbole, for all the accidents daily.  And after a good, long while of my gentle support, one night she and I were watching a movie before bedtime together with her on my lap.  I was tired and  when she just chose to pee without trying to get to the bathroom,  the urine falling into my lap was cold and disgusting and it angered me.  I looked her firmly in the eyes and I said, “You will not do this.”  and I went on a verbal speech with quite a bit of angry tones and lines drawn.  Her eyes were wide watching and listening. This moment marked the end of this particular dance.  She was potty trained.  None of the parenting books would have said this was the way to dance this dance, but often my middle path requires marga to express some anger and backbone.

So I will say, there is a great relief in this house today, a new air, so to speak.  A dybbuk was sent packing.

I can see today that a line drawn in the sand allowed us to examine what really lay beneath.  There was a deadline set for solution that mattered for life and death, in my little one’s world.

In this dance,  this marga character is often full of great acceptance.  But I had a moment when I felt the pee in my lap again so to speak, and said, this will not be the air in my house for years on end.  Yesterday was a thrashy and angry dance, lasting 22 hours, with a break for sleeping, and no one knew how it was going to end.

I’ve never been much into Freudian theories, but I knew there was a heavy dose of displacement going on.  Knowing a theory does not bring a solution.  After the thrashing and crying, and anger and sympathy, a final deep buried wound was uncovered, and the flow of universal love seemed to enter in again.

I’m not Pollyanna, here.  This is not the end.  But I feel sure this is a truer turning point than I have seen in a while.  I see how the universe came in to play the music behind our dance, and pulled in players I didn’t even know were available.

On we go.

Heart full of gratitude for the journey that can be a dance, and that there are those whose dances overlap with mine.

23 Responses to “Middle Path Dance”

  1. Leisa February 10, 2013 at 2:56 pm #

    I hold you in love!

    • marga t. February 10, 2013 at 5:08 pm #

      Thank you, Leisa!

      • Leisa February 10, 2013 at 9:05 pm #

        My pleasure darling!

  2. prewitt1970 February 10, 2013 at 3:15 pm #

    And the dance continues.Personal statement: Im glad you drew that line. I think that if we are to grow past where we are and move towards the future you must. Sometimes these lines are deep and hard to awsh away and it takes geat waves to do so and sometimes they are lite a shallow and we breeze through them. I wish you luck, strength and love on your journey.

    • marga t. February 10, 2013 at 5:18 pm #

      Deep bow, my friend. All of your wishes sent back to you tenfold.

  3. kimberlyharding February 10, 2013 at 3:45 pm #

    This is just beautiful. I like what you write at the beginning about “truth” in the moment. Yes, that is all that it is.- it’s our truth in that moment. Beautiful. What a wonderful story to share about lines in the sand. Drawing and experiencing such lines can be such an impetus to transformation. Thank you.

    • marga t. February 10, 2013 at 5:32 pm #

      Big energy entering today with this change. Thank you, for the sharing with me.

  4. Awake in 365 Days February 10, 2013 at 4:02 pm #

    I can feel the powerful shift in your home through your words, the thrashing and crying – not fun, but necessary and then that great relief afterwards. Enjoy the peace. 🙂

    • marga t. February 10, 2013 at 5:24 pm #

      Thank you so much. I’m pretty sure we cause a ripple in the space time field; did you feel it up there? Peace to you, today!

  5. 24.7 February 10, 2013 at 4:32 pm #

    no words

    • marga t. February 10, 2013 at 5:18 pm #

      yes.

      • 24.7 February 10, 2013 at 5:23 pm #

        thought so

      • marga t. February 10, 2013 at 5:43 pm #

        bit intense to be honest

  6. 24.7 February 10, 2013 at 5:59 pm #

    Yes thought so

  7. caimbeul February 10, 2013 at 9:33 pm #

    Platinum. Oh how I delight in the way you can strike earthen gold in one deft scoop of visceral wordsmithing..

    • marga t. February 11, 2013 at 12:52 am #

      What generous and beautiful wordsmithing, Caimbeul. Tears of joy for the sharing!

  8. kai February 11, 2013 at 2:10 pm #

    And just when we think it has dissolved in awareness, there it is again, an old wound, a by-product of a long-held belief shows its head – (thankee goodness, but ouch to me!)…..appreciate the honesty and vulnerability in your blog…..shanti, kai

    • marga t. February 11, 2013 at 6:25 pm #

      i write, i read your response, and i feel like we are sharing a space where i can smile at you. how do i put that in words? very nice reflection you give to me. shanti to you, too. xmarga

  9. vision5d2012 February 12, 2013 at 5:23 am #

    Congratulations! I’m happy for you, Alia

  10. barefootseasons.wordpress.com March 11, 2013 at 3:44 pm #

    dancing the ripple of love!

    • marga t. March 11, 2013 at 5:50 pm #

      Seems to be true! hope you are enjoying the dance in your corner!

      • barefootseasons.wordpress.com March 13, 2013 at 2:20 pm #

        yes en~joying life’s dance!

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