There was a guy who used to be at the library down the street. He drove an old car with an enormous antenna off the end and a sticker that said something about info wars and a website to check out. He looked a little bit like this:
This was a small, local library, so the children’s story time was surprisingly close to where this man was conducting his research, daily. What I’m trying to say is that I noticed him.
I was curious about just what he was up to when a librarian whispered to me one day that he was a “Crazy Conspiracy Guy”. We all know this stereotype.
So when I found myself exploring DARK MATTERS a few years later, this man was in my head, and I wondered if I had fallen off the deep end. What is a sweet (haha), stay-at-home mom doing exploring all sorts of dark, confusing information by internet, book, film, and lecture while her kids were away at school? I didn’t know why I found myself drawn in this direction either. Before, I couldn’t get enough information and teaching about meditation, non-duality, Buddhism, Taoism, Love and Light. What is the pull toward darkness?
So hard to sum up years of experiences quickly and walk back through a trail that seemed to make no sense, but now seems perfectly ordained and meaningful in hindsight.
Super speedy telling, I had an NDE during the birth of my youngest, and upon coming back, I could see that things were off. We all have a sense that something is rotten in denmark, something is off, but most of us, collectively, are able to sweep that “knowing” under the rug and get back to Consensus, conditioned REALITY. My dark night of the soul made me so uncomfortable that I couldn’t just tolerate what was off any longer and the uncovering began. To me, at the time, this exploration seemed the antithesis of my spiritual exploration.
One teacher in particular, that I came across, magically put all of it together for me. In his “Gates of Awakening” teaching, I see a consolidation of the avenues I have found myself exploring through the years. My Neil Kramer awareness came to me through some podcasts I stumbled upon. Never did I listen without experiencing a deep pang of truth from within. The teaching from this ARC Conference in particular spells out this exploration of Dark Matters as a necessary step upon the path of our Unfolding.
I think this is a 5 part lecture, but here is the next part.
So maybe you are wondering if I’ve turned into this:
Not yet. But I am a little weird. Here’s a picture from Improv Graduation 🙂 I’m in the green pants.
Dark, love, and light to you in your own exploring and improvising today!
Life as Improv 
Not too weird yet, although, perhaps the green pants are weird …
no self in loud pants 🙂 love the paradox of existing. thanks for reading!
Funny, you don’t look dark… Could be the red hair but I see a lot of sunlight in your face.
Here you and I are, incorporating our Shadow 🙂
(not sure how to attach to a reply) Hope you are having a sunny flow as well!
Hi, Marga. I’m just now catching up with notifications on my new blog. Awesome Matrix video you sent as a Shadow. Thank you! And, of course completely understandable that you don’t have the time for award obligations. I just enjoyed giving your blog a nod.