Alex Grey – Transfigurations
The divine had had enough of just wondering about experience. Upon diving in, she divided, fragmented, shattered into these infinite portals of views. Landing behind our eyes is much more than a camera view; it is a breathing experience through many sets of eyes, the whole shebang of eyes – of each -and every – thing. The eyes behind the eyes of the trees, the eyes of squirrels, the eyes of wind, rivers, humans…
I can only relate through my own eyes. My goal is not to take a walk down memory lane for marga but to explore my memories because perhaps what I remember is much like all of our experiences with this…this…what? What is a word? Epiphany? Realization? Sensation? The experience of knowing you are more than just you?
I was in 8th grade when I remember recognizing that odd outside perspective of something experiencing itself through me. I was walking the long, weird hallways of my middle school, going to the bus at the end of the day when saw the world through my eyes as though I were someone else.
I said to myself in that moment, “I am a Camera,” (I didn’t know of the British Film from the 50′s) and I gave my eyes over to IT for a better view. I showed the viewer, “This is how we wait in the cold, dark mornings for the bus to come at the top of the hill, this is how 8th grade girls talk in the bathroom, this is what they say in the lunch line”…I had a constant viewer with me for a while, observing my life and my mind.
My brother had been diagnosed with cancer and the ego could no longer claim its identity as the sister of the popular, athletic, older brother, but now I was the sister of the kid with cancer. By the next winter I was the sister of the kid who died. Perhaps this explains the sudden shift in perspective. The unfolding in front of me no longer made any sense in a traditional way.
And then on my wedding day, that same oddness; who sees through these eyes? Who is watching me do this thing?
Back and forth in every moment, doing and watching the doing, me and not me.
Sometimes I imagined a whole planet of beings were experiencing our world though the portal in my head. I tried to show them what it was like, objectively. Perhaps I am responsible for the delay in Contact
This process is written about in past tense, as if the divine long ago at the creation of the world chose to dive in, but perhaps it is more like a continual process, an infinite interplay in EVERY moment between divinity and creation.
The ego with its serious thoughts continually seems to push aside these moment, but actually this interplay is always present, always right here.
We all share these experiences, don’t we?
Some begin to cultivate this observer perspective – openings can occur here.
This music is not everyone’s tastes, but here, is yet another window of eyes, experiencing: complete, with a freaky video, too:
Parabola, Tool, Lyrics
This one, this form I hold now
Embracing you, this reality here
This one, this form I hold now, so
Wide eyed and hopeful
Wide eyed and hopefully wild
Choosing to be here right now
Hold on, stay inside…
This body holding me, reminding me that I am not alone in…
This body makes me feel eternal
All this pain is an illusion