Parenting is not easy. I don’t know what I am doing.
The Angry Wolf of this job says, “I will not tolerate this behavior.” The Angry Wolf says, “My Way or the Highway.” The Angry Wolf lives in fear of ingratitude, threats to it’s authority, tarnishing of it’s image, mutiny, and failure.
The Peaceful Wolf says, ”Nothing can hurt me. Nothing can ever diminish me in any way.”
Once this is known – suffering becomes a memory. The threat disappears like smoke.
I watch myself and see joy, ease, compassion, often, no matter the swirling whirlwind of the suffering that comes to those in my care from the confusion of growing up in our culture, in our family, with this Mother.
The sticky times are observed as well and I can clearly see where I am attached to some idea that I believe I can be hurt or diminished in some way. Those incorrect thoughts bring out the Angry Wolf.
The Peaceful Wolf knows that no one owes me anything, ever, no matter what I have given. Every act on my part is a gift and a service that I give, and nothing can be expected in return. With the commitments I have freely made, I will serve with pleasure, with no expectation of the reward of appreciation for MY service, no expectation of closeness derived from MY giving, no paybacks, no front of the line, no piggy back rides up the mountain – unless these gifts flow to me from the kindness of another, unexpectedly.
In my observations of myself, I see that when I’m tired or engaging in incorrect thoughts, I can imagine I’m put upon. In this state of mind, no words even need to be spoken; this mindset is conveyed telepathically and bodily and throws me and others out of synch.
Since I cannot be diminished, ever, all is always good.
In the story, the Peaceful Wolf is fed, so it grows, while the Angry Wolf shrinks from not being fed. Perhaps the Angry Wolf is swaddled, loved, and absorbed. Who knows? I still don’t know what I’m doing. But this makes sense tonight.
I hear you sister! When parenting gets really bad for me, I take my angry wolf for a car ride and let it howl.
Simpatico! Sometimes I put on NIN and run around the block…amazingly helpful. Thanks for sharing in the howl
Awesome. My fav head banging music is Nirvana. Especially Smells like Teen Spirit.
Yes – love it! Also a good title for me, loving to thrash and laugh
Funny sync…I thought of you yesterday while listening to Down In It……I was up above it, now I’m down in it. Sigh……..again?? Really?? And so it goes. Much love
Big loves sent your way, S!! Traveling the stream together, we, and we are embraced and loved by the all, while we are down in it or up above. And we are reading Vonnegut in class…”SO IT GOES”! really!!
xo!!
Great post..parenting is hard bloody work!
Tis! But the perfect key combination of unlocking, I’m seeing. Love love love seeing your dd today – such presence captured in those candid life moments.
The perfect key combination YES thats it exactly!!! Thank you
Keep questioning those thoughts!….shanti….kai
Rght at the end of a knot being brushed out, then the brush flows smoothly through silken hair. shanti (saying the word flows peace within, even) grateful, kai.
The wolf knows the song of the Moon and the Stars. When the silence of the night comes and all are lost in slumber, the wolf has woken up from the dream of delusion. One life to the next just a revolution of time the anger subsides to the silence of the night.
I can’t put to words properly, but seems zooming out from the wheel of revolutions to the deepest stillness of the observer is longed for, and cusping. but also,Your time slippery words make me just want to be quiet, or hummmmm deep bow in recognition to you
journey Well
I nominated you for a Reality Blog award
If you don’t have this award yet, please accept it from me!
http://sofiasiberia.com/2013/01/15/very-inspiring-blog-reality-blog-and-liebster-blog-awards/
You have a great blog! Best of luck!
Oh you lovely Sofia! Thank you for thinking of this collection of words for an award! The time writing and reading others’ words on WordPress feels like stolen pockets of sweet treats, but then I have to get back to 3d time crunch duties. I can’t seem to squeeze in extra time for this, but honored and touched to be thought of. Blessings you your head
xm
You are totally right, Marga
)
I feel flattered people thought of me when passing me the awards, but then it takes quite a time to acknowledge the awards, nominate and notify others, and i’m usually short of it
Anyway, just know that your blog is great and worth many awards!
Cheers
Sofia
I am enjoying reading your posts. So glad to have found your site. I love the story of the 2 wolves. I am struggling with how to share my story of healing with those who are still struggling..and to integrate for myself. Yes, maybe the angry wolf is swaddled, loved and absorbed. Love that.
Much peace,
Laurie
Thank you Laurie!
Much easier to integrate something that can be swaddled
Hope your evening and weekend is full of much peace and joy! So nice to share with you along the path! marga
Yes, indeed! Not sure though how to reach back and share with those still struggling against it. I know I sound crazy to them and they can’t grasp the idea.
I know I will figure out how to make the best use of my experience. For now, I keep writing.
I looked up this story but I like your ending better.
Thank you for meeting me on the path
Love,
Laurie
Maybe I can use this story. Would it be ok if I was to post this legend and use your ending..with credit of course? I think it could help some struggling little girls and women.
Love and peace returned,
Laurie
Feel free to share however feels right to you, Laurie!
Here, Sunshine is streaming in on a Saturday morning
X!marga
Much thanks and love,
Laurie